Thursday, June 23, 2011

Tacos Anyone?

I wasn’t hungry, but I was making tacos anyway. It was time to eat. I knew that I needed to eat regardless of having an appetite or not. As I was cooking I remembered a question that a friend of mine asked me at least once a week last semester. “How do you know when your hungry?” Truthfully I always thought it was kind of a strange question. Everyone knows the answer. You are hungry when you are hungry… and that’s that. Or so I thought.

But today was different. It was time to eat but I didn’t feel hungry. There was nothing that I did to spoil my appetite this afternoon. I simply did not feel the need for food. For a moment I considered not eating. After all, if I wasn’t feeling hungry then why eat? I ended up eating despite my lack of hunger because I knew I would need the sustenance to get through tonight’s Urinetown rehearsal.

I have a point I promise! Just read on!

When my friend asked the question “How do you know when you are hungry?” he was talking about physical hunger… But this got my mind spinning. As I pondered the different kinds of hunger I thought of spiritual hunger. How do you know if you are spiritually hungry? If it’s possible to not know when you are physically hungry then wouldn’t it also be possible to not know you are spiritually hungry?

Think about a day where you skipped a meal because of your schedule. There were many days in college, especially during exams, where I would unintentionally miss a meal. Usually it was because I was so hyped up on coffee and studying that my mind blinded itself to the reality that I needed food to survive. But the actuality was that I needed food more in my intense studying than in normal life.

The following is my theory. (I’m sure you have all been eagerly awaiting this! ha!) Many people have a spiritual hunger and don’t even realize it. They have gotten so used to the sensation of being hungry that they are no longer aware of the feeling. If it can happen in the physical since then I think that it is only reasonable to think it applies to the spiritual part of us too.

Level-headedness suggests that food, real physical food, is all we need… This simply is not the case. Jesus said in Luke 4:4 that “man shall not live by bread alone.” Furthermore in John 6:35 he says “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger…” Whether or not you believe in the Bible, you must agree that humans usually long for something more than what this life offers… We at least long for something better. But often, better things never seem to come. As a result we get bitter, depressed, angry ect. As I examine my life, the times when I recognize my spiritual hunger and eat, are the times when I sense joy and fulfillment. It’s safe to say that realizing spiritual hunger is not quite so simple as physical hunger but it is equally important for your health and quality of life.

It doesn’t really matter how you know if you are hungry (at least in the spiritual since). If you haven’t eaten in a while then you are hungry! Plain and simple! So why not eat? It can’t do any harm.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Where is Santa?

Waiting is a strange concept. In my experience it makes me cringe with discontentment. To wait leaves the mind feeling uneasy… wanting to do something… It is natural to want to get things over with just to end the wait. Of course everyone knows that learning to wait is good for a person. It teaches discipline and patience. It also makes the thing that you have been waiting for even sweeter when it finally comes to fruition.

Since graduation I feel like I have been playing a waiting game. I have been support raising and planning lessons for classes, but these things seem to only produce more anticipation. My heart and mind are not in America any more. They are in Japan. I therefore feel that restless sensation you get when you just want to get something over with. It’s the feeling achieved when you have only one more exam to take and you have studied all that you possibly can, yet the exam is still a few hours away.

Every day I see friends and wonder if I will see them again before I go. Sometimes I wonder if being far from my close friends will be as hard as I anticipate. I hope not.

One thing that God has been teaching me thus far is that I rarely grow closer to him if I am comfortable. Fear of graduating, support raising and leaving friends has forced me to rely on him much more than I am accustomed to. There have been so many things that I have had to rely on God for that my nights are filled with prayer. Without prayer I wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing all the change that is about to happen in my life. All in all, I have enjoyed being terrified of going to Japan… as strange as that sounds. In response to all the fear, doubt and worry God has provided contentment, assurance and peace. Seeing God provide has given me great joy.

On august 3rd I will board a plane in North Carolina and embark on what Satan tells me will be a very long nightmare. Usually when Satan tells me something is not good for me I can trust that it probably will be great. If he says it will be bitter then sweetness overflows.

Truthfully I can’t wait any more! I am like a kid on Christmas Eve! Just give me Santa! Please!!! And by Santa I mean a ride to the airport and an earlier departure date!

To bad Santa doesn’t exist!

In the meantime I will wait.