O Come Emanuel

Today I listened to the sound of the rain on my front porch. It fell nearly all day long. A modest stream formed on the front lawn. I reclined by the window to witness the beauty. Did you know that rain falls from white puffy clouds that float high up in the sky? No really! All that water, tons and tons of it, was just floating around… IN THE SKY! If I remember correctly it floats around in the form of little ice crystals. Who knows how far that water had traveled before it decided to visit my yard? I like to think that a least a few of the droplets floated here from Canada… because Canada is funny.

Humans wish for magic. They long for beauty. In his book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis said “If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.” We all would love to be a part of some epic tale with hobbits and elves. My roommate sincerely wishes he had superpowers! I wish I could have a dolphin for a friend… I blame that on Sea World. Nevertheless, I imagine if we had these things they wouldn’t be special to us. Seldom would I appreciate conversing with my friend the dolphin.

We wish for great beauty and magic but our eyes are closed. It rained today. My lawn will be a little greener because tonight it supped on tiny droplets of water that traveled through the sky… probably of Canadian decent! :-) Is that not magic? 

Oh that sin did not exist so that we could live in awe of the splendor of God's creation. Alas, my soul aches because often there seems to be no hope for our world. I close my eyes and harden my heart in an attempt to hide the evil… as a result I hide the magic too. My heart gives itself fully to sin’s empty promises… only to be further from happiness than I had been before. Car wrecks happen. Tsunamis happen. Cancer happens. Divorce, deception, greed, anger… they all happen! We live in a world where people mistake sex for love and money for happiness. Friday a gunman murdered little children. No wonder its hard to look at the rain and see beauty. It’s a wonder that we see beauty at all! We are captives of the terrible things in our world, so much so that we seldom see anything else. Let us hope in Jesus who will destroy evil and one day make a new earth where truth and goodness reign. He makes all things new. This is our epic tale.

“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert, to give drink to my chosen people, the people whom I have formed for myself that they might declare my praise.” –Isaiah 43: 18-21

This Christmas I will be thankful for the rain, and I will hope in the joys and beauties to come. 

Tag

I am like a child playing a game of tag. Maybe a better term would be a sheep. Ok… Sheep-child?? Sometimes I play fairly. Often I cheat. There are times of laughter, arguments, anger, smiles, tears, and exhaustion. I like to create my own rules to the game. Nevertheless I am constantly running away from, or after, someone… something. We are all children, sheepishly wandering around tagging, in hopes of winning the game. The problem is that in reality we need someone else to give us the rules. Someone with authority needs to call us out on our cheating. Yet, we all like to be the referee of our own games. This is what it is to be human. It is a product of the fall. The irony of the situation is that in our sheepy-child-life we don’t believe that we are in need of help. We don’t think that we have a sheepy-child-life at all! We create the rules remember! In our own eyes, we are rock stars… gods of this game of tag! Sheep!? Whatever! Who naturally thinks they are a lowly, incompetent, brainless creature? To hell with that! We are… I am… a rock star god!

 “Never” you say?! Hmmnnn. Ok. Go on making up parameters to your game. Continue believing the lies your heart has carefully constructed.

 One of the most frustrating things about dealing with a paranoid schizophrenic mom, is that she is constantly living in a reality that is totally separate from everything we know. She has extreme anger, and extreme bitterness. She has created rules to her game that are intricate and thorough. Some days she is sure that the FBI is tapping her phone in order to access information that she alone knows. She tells me that I should skip work because the president issued a roadblock in order to take me captive and get the code she left me in her last letter. Welcome to my daily list of voicemails. ☺

 I have come to the realization that we are not all that different from my schizo-mother. Her mind has built a fortress of lies that she can rarely penetrate. She stays up all night trying to filter through it all… longing for a little truth, but only falling deeper into the labyrinth… growing in hatred towards everything. While my mother is extreme, we all do the same thing. We convince ourselves that we are not bad people. We tell ourselves that money, education, success, or romantic relationships will bring us victory in this game of tag… only, we don’t listen to the referee! We keep making up rules. Everyone tries to justify their crazy lives with their made up rules. So often we give ourselves fully to the idols of our hearts. Tag. Your it… Now off to chase another.

 Please stop the game. Stop the tagging. Stop the chasing. Stop making up realities based on lies! God has given us truth. His word will eat to the core of the fortress you have constructed if he has willed it. The blood of Christ will save you from this stupid game of tag. Do not believe in your game! Believe in Jesus. Please!

 “Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion,
 on the day of testing in the wilderness, where your fathers put me to the test
 and saw my works for forty years. Therefore I was provoked with that generation, and said, ‘They always go astray in their heart; 
they have not known my ways.’ As I swore in my wrath,
 ‘They shall not enter my rest.’”
-Hebrews 3:7-11

Spring

Fresh green leaves can change a person. I am convinced of this… the kind of leaves that first adorn a tree after a barren winter. These initial buds, which appear so quickly, blossom into a shade of green not seen for the rest of the summer. A blue sky can receive no greater compliment than these new leaves. As I peer upward through the unblemished canopy my eyes rejoice. My pupils have no choice but to dilate, giving respect to the artist.

God’s character is in these leaves. He is the kind of person who likes to create something out of nothing. He does it all the time, but I usually don’t notice. Maybe my heart is too cold or callused to be constantly aware of all the reminders of His love. Nonetheless, today he reminded me that he is majestic. The words that he utters uphold everything, including these little green leaves. Its funny how something as simple as a leaf can remind me that I was once dead. I was just like a winter tree. I had no leaves. Fruit was out of the question. Yet, He spoke and leaves appeared!

Sometimes I wish I had been an art major... if you had ever seen the audacious creations of mine, you would be glad that I stuck to music. Really… it’s like I am a mass murderer of canvases. Is it the right or left side of the brain that is more artistically inclined? I don’t remember. Anyway, I digress… back to the blog post…

Surely there is a certain beauty and value in age, but there is an undeniable goodness associated with things that are new. God is a creator. He creates new things, lets them age, and then creates them anew all over again!

“Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?” –Matthew 6:28-30

Our Artist, the Speaker of our story, delights in the regeneration of leaves to garnish trees in springtime. He loves beauty. But how much more does he take pleasure in the regeneration of our souls! God brings the souls of His people from death to life, from curse to blessing, from bitterness to happiness, from emptiness to fullness and from despair to hope! How awesome is that! Now go outside, look at the leaves. Remember and rejoice in God’s loving promise through Jesus.

Grandpa

There are few people whom I have met in my brief lifetime that strike me as exceptional human beings. My grandfather was one of them. He passed away last night at the age of 84. He led a good life. Today my aunt said that we ought to go out to his farm and find something that represents him and use it as part of a flower arrangement for the funeral… maybe an old wagon wheel or something. I liked the idea. It’s true that my grandpa was a lover of the land, but a wagon wheel doesn’t come close to representing him in full. He was much more than a farmer, schoolteacher, husband, father, or grandfather. He was a giver. Giving is how he mirrored his savior. He truly seemed to understand that he was blessed by God in order to be a blessing to others.

“The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof, the world and those who dwell therein” –Psalm 24: 1


My grandpa knew that there was nothing that he had worked for that was worth keeping for himself. He was a school teacher and farmer, yet he gave gifts as if he had the salary of a doctor or lawyer. He loaned money that he often never got back; bought cars for people who never paid him back, and did it with the utmost joy. I feel sure that Jesus spoke to his heart in Luke 6 when he says, “To the one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold you tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.” He lent money expecting nothing in return. Most people saw it as foolish… he saw it as good.

In the summers when I was in elementary school grandpa would bring us literally every day to Water World, a local water park. He didn’t like to swim but he brought us anyway… sitting at a picnic table day after day while we enjoyed our well-irrigated wonderland.

When he finally decided that our go-cart was too dangerous, he bought an old Toyota Corolla for us to ride around the farm in. It seems a bit much huh? And yes, we went entirely too fast.

He brought us fishing and to see the cows. He would even have the hay bales arranged in a manner that made them more fun to play on. He thought of little things like this, fashioning an abundance of smiles on our faces… surely not realizing the gifts he was storing for himself in heaven.

I got a car on my sixteenth birthday, a large gift when I graduated from high school, and a fully paid college education… all because of my grandparents (I cant exclude grandma from the equation). I was not an exception. All of my siblings and cousins received the same treatment… nothing asked for in return. There was no catch. He simply gave much because he loved much.

He was a forgiving man. I cant tell you how much stuff my brothers and I broke. We crashed the gocart into grandmas Mercedes, broke windows with baseballs, and set numerous things on fire… maybe he never knew about the fire… either way he always forgave us. He loved us the same as the day before.

My brothers and I lived with our grandparents for three years. Every night grandpa read the bible to us. He prayed with us and sent us off to bed. Through tears I rejoice in the life that my Grandfather led. He was salt. He was a lamp on a stand… intending to help people see Jesus. He truly knew his savior. I can’t imagine the infinite joy he is experiencing at this very moment in the presence of the King.



Above: The only photo I could find of me and grandpa. I am sure there are more... just dont know where.

Just Thinking Out-Loud

People die. That is true for everyone. There has never been a time when I was not aware of this, but I have never been around dieing people. The reality has rarely hit home.

Once, I went to a hospital to sing for a man who was dying of cancer. I had never met him before. He was old. His hair was falling out due to his sickness. His body trembled and his eyes announced his happiness, emitting tears; a weeping founded in joy. He was joyful because he knew the blood of Christ. He has seen it wash his erroneous nature. I trembled too… witnessing a soul so close to the gates of paradise.

People were not meant to die. People say that death is natural. It is not. It has never been. It will never be. The death of a plant is natural. The death of an animal maybe… but the death of a human being has no hint of natures doing. Death is the doing of a curse. We all live beneath the curses reign…

“By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” –Gen 3:19

There is a story in the gospel of John where Jesus hears of Lazarus’ sickness. He knows that Lazarus will die. He knows that he will bring him back to life. Yet when he arrived and saw Mary and the people with her weeping, his spirit was moved and he also wept. I often wondered why Jesus would weep when he knew that he was about to bring Lazarus back from the dead. Jesus wept because he was seeing one of the most tragic results of sin. He was a friend of Lazarus... loved Lazarus. Jesus also loved Mary and the other people who were weeping there. He saw the pain in their eyes… could hear the grief in the sobbing. Jesus wept because he was experiencing the effects of sin on humankind first hand.

Jesus was human. I forget that.

There is good news in the midst of darkness. Good news is an understatement. Jesus says in John 11:25, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and every one who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?”

These words breathe life. Fashioning hope, they grant freedom to live knowing that death is inevitable.

THOUGH HE DIE, YET SHALL HE LIVE.


Death exists, but Christ is the resurrection and life. By his grace I shudder at the sound of these words. By his mercy my once-dead soul believes in what sounds foolish to the world. I pray that by his strength I might be like Jesus to whomever God sends me.

Lord, make me salt.

Sunsets from Parking-lots

Yesterday, I stood on the top floor of a shopping center called Apita. The weather was perfect. There was a cool breeze, clear crisp air, and miles of visibility from my concrete perch. For a brief 15 minutes as the sun set on this city of 8 million people I forgot that I was in Japan. I forgot that I was seven thousand miles from my family and friends. I forgot that I had things to do, music to learn, Japanese to study. God spoke that sunset into being. I listened with my eyes. I listened more intently than to any opera or recital. This mere sunset was more beautiful than what any human voice could sing. This art came from God’s mouth. It was but a stage prop in his show… and I, an ant crawling on the wall at stage left.

I was alone of that roof. No one else seemed to care about the beauty in the sky. No one even seemed to notice. It is instances like these… rare glimpses into my own smallness when I feel at home in the Lord. I had nothing to offer God in return for his show. I couldn’t sing and impress Him…. the equivalent of a child’s scribble art. At most it would be cute. I could offer nothing but a bowed head… a meager sign of respect. Even this He helped me to accomplish.

It felt real to me yesterday… that God has taken the rubbish I offered Him and traded it for blood… blood from Christ Jesus… God.

I fear the beauty as in that sunset, because it reeks of power… power that is above me, that is better than me in every way shape and form. At the same time I long to know it. I long to know that goodness. I long to be fluent in the language of Him who speaks things into being… He who creates something out of nothing. It is an infinite language, impossible for a finite being. It is rhetoric that human senses cannot taste.

I felt at home for the first time in two months upon that roof. I am no more comfortable with living in Japan than the day before. I still can’t speak Japanese, or read kanji. I still don’t really know what I am buying at the grocery store. If I eat too much rice I still get constipated ☺ But God is here even though his people are few. He is still speaking, though few have ears to hear. His love is evident. His patience is vast. His grace abounds, and I love Him for it. I don’t understand it, but I love it!

For those of you who were hoping for an update on what I have been up too… I am sorry… maybe next time. I will be sending out update emails soon. ☺

I Am A Foreigner

I have been in Japan for over two weeks now. I feel about as adjusted as I could wish for. I have an apartment filled with everything I will ever need. I have battled the Japanese grocery store and reined victorious… relatively speaking. But as I have been thinking about what to tell everyone back home I have been stumped. So much has happened in two weeks that to tell you all of it would be extremely long so I will try and give a short account of a few funny circumstances.

1. I was sitting and listening to a Japanese conversation and was only partially aware of what the topic was. Suddenly everyone started laughing. I obviously missed the punch line, but I was still determined to have input in the excitement. I attempted to say the word for “that’s funny or interesting.” Instead I recited the following phrase with the utmost confidence and assurance that it was the appropriate response: “Oishashiburi des” which happens to mean, “long time no see.” And thus a humiliating moment for the white guy.

2. Japanese toilets are a species set apart from all other bathroom technology. No wiping is necessary for many of these contraptions because they will clean you, dry you and from what I understand, sometimes spray your behind with perfume. I knew all of these things before coming to Japan and once again my pride was cut down by the Japanese culture. All the other bathrooms were occupied at this restaurant called “Yeast Paradise,” so I decided to use the handicapped bathroom. After all, there were no handicapped people in line! I would have considered the bathroom visit a success until the very end when the time came to flush. There was no handle to push… and no visible button. All that existed was an electronic key pad with a bunch of similar looking options all written in Japanese. I chose the biggest option and pressed the key only to set off and alarm! The toilet was calling for assistance for the handicapped guest (me) who apparently had notified the restaurant staff that he couldn’t get up! At that point I knew I had to get out of there fast! I ignored the gift that I left in the toilet and ran out of the building acting as if nothing had happened! Strike two for foreigner!

3. I live by myself in an apartment situated on the third floor of the building. Since I don’t have a roommate, I feel no qualms about walking around in my underwear. Don’t judge me! You would too if it was this hot in you kitchen! You’ve got to cool off somehow! Either way, I am not used to living in a big city… where people can just see into your windows. I looked out the window to see a few children pointing at my window and laughing… it took me a few seconds to realize that they could see me standing there in my undees! I have learned to close the curtains! At least I wasn’t dancing to the music I was listening to!!


Not all of my actions have ended in failure! Just the funny ones! School starts this week and hopefully the gospel choirs will be up and running soon as well! I will update about those things as soon as I can. Hope you all are well! And thanks for your prayers!

Leaving On A Jet Plane

I have had such a great summer. Really. I spent time with my friends, time with my family, did a fantastic show with some very talented people… good times. Some people assume that I will never come back from Japan. I chuckle to myself. Five years ago when I did my English teaching internships in Japan, if you asked me to stay I would have said yes, and never looked back. Funny thing is I seem to already be looking back and I am not even gone yet! I think I know why.

A week from today I will be on a passenger jet, in route to a far-off place full of far-off stuff and far-off people. Many people treat this year away like it is my funeral. I am still going to be alive in Japan (lord willing ha!) so please don’t treat goodbyes like you will never see me again! I cant take much more of it. It makes me sad that everyone thinks they are losing a friend. You are not. Granted, things will be different, but that’s ok. The last five years of my life have been great. God provided a greenhouse for me to grow in. The people I am leaving in America are the people God used to water and nurture me in that greenhouse. Hopefully I helped you grow too. I love you all very much and am so grateful that God put you in my life. I have every intention of keeping in touch and I expect you all to do the same. I will be mad at you if you don’t. ☺

ALL RIGHT! ENOUGH SAPPY STUFF! I AM GOING TO JAPAN!! SO MUCH EXCITEMENT!!!!!!


PS. Lots of people have asked me where I will be in Japan. The best way is just to look on a map. Its a city called Nagoya. The population is about 8 million.






PPS. Also the weather is very similar to Birmingham. Lots of people wonder about that too.

PPPS. The tsunami happened in northern Japan. Nagoya was not physically effected.

Tacos Anyone?

I wasn’t hungry, but I was making tacos anyway. It was time to eat. I knew that I needed to eat regardless of having an appetite or not. As I was cooking I remembered a question that a friend of mine asked me at least once a week last semester. “How do you know when your hungry?” Truthfully I always thought it was kind of a strange question. Everyone knows the answer. You are hungry when you are hungry… and that’s that. Or so I thought.

But today was different. It was time to eat but I didn’t feel hungry. There was nothing that I did to spoil my appetite this afternoon. I simply did not feel the need for food. For a moment I considered not eating. After all, if I wasn’t feeling hungry then why eat? I ended up eating despite my lack of hunger because I knew I would need the sustenance to get through tonight’s Urinetown rehearsal.

I have a point I promise! Just read on!

When my friend asked the question “How do you know when you are hungry?” he was talking about physical hunger… But this got my mind spinning. As I pondered the different kinds of hunger I thought of spiritual hunger. How do you know if you are spiritually hungry? If it’s possible to not know when you are physically hungry then wouldn’t it also be possible to not know you are spiritually hungry?

Think about a day where you skipped a meal because of your schedule. There were many days in college, especially during exams, where I would unintentionally miss a meal. Usually it was because I was so hyped up on coffee and studying that my mind blinded itself to the reality that I needed food to survive. But the actuality was that I needed food more in my intense studying than in normal life.

The following is my theory. (I’m sure you have all been eagerly awaiting this! ha!) Many people have a spiritual hunger and don’t even realize it. They have gotten so used to the sensation of being hungry that they are no longer aware of the feeling. If it can happen in the physical since then I think that it is only reasonable to think it applies to the spiritual part of us too.

Level-headedness suggests that food, real physical food, is all we need… This simply is not the case. Jesus said in Luke 4:4 that “man shall not live by bread alone.” Furthermore in John 6:35 he says “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger…” Whether or not you believe in the Bible, you must agree that humans usually long for something more than what this life offers… We at least long for something better. But often, better things never seem to come. As a result we get bitter, depressed, angry ect. As I examine my life, the times when I recognize my spiritual hunger and eat, are the times when I sense joy and fulfillment. It’s safe to say that realizing spiritual hunger is not quite so simple as physical hunger but it is equally important for your health and quality of life.

It doesn’t really matter how you know if you are hungry (at least in the spiritual since). If you haven’t eaten in a while then you are hungry! Plain and simple! So why not eat? It can’t do any harm.

Where is Santa?

Waiting is a strange concept. In my experience it makes me cringe with discontentment. To wait leaves the mind feeling uneasy… wanting to do something… It is natural to want to get things over with just to end the wait. Of course everyone knows that learning to wait is good for a person. It teaches discipline and patience. It also makes the thing that you have been waiting for even sweeter when it finally comes to fruition.

Since graduation I feel like I have been playing a waiting game. I have been support raising and planning lessons for classes, but these things seem to only produce more anticipation. My heart and mind are not in America any more. They are in Japan. I therefore feel that restless sensation you get when you just want to get something over with. It’s the feeling achieved when you have only one more exam to take and you have studied all that you possibly can, yet the exam is still a few hours away.

Every day I see friends and wonder if I will see them again before I go. Sometimes I wonder if being far from my close friends will be as hard as I anticipate. I hope not.

One thing that God has been teaching me thus far is that I rarely grow closer to him if I am comfortable. Fear of graduating, support raising and leaving friends has forced me to rely on him much more than I am accustomed to. There have been so many things that I have had to rely on God for that my nights are filled with prayer. Without prayer I wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing all the change that is about to happen in my life. All in all, I have enjoyed being terrified of going to Japan… as strange as that sounds. In response to all the fear, doubt and worry God has provided contentment, assurance and peace. Seeing God provide has given me great joy.

On august 3rd I will board a plane in North Carolina and embark on what Satan tells me will be a very long nightmare. Usually when Satan tells me something is not good for me I can trust that it probably will be great. If he says it will be bitter then sweetness overflows.

Truthfully I can’t wait any more! I am like a kid on Christmas Eve! Just give me Santa! Please!!! And by Santa I mean a ride to the airport and an earlier departure date!

To bad Santa doesn’t exist!

In the meantime I will wait.

Alabama Tornados

Last Wednesday afternoon was anxiety-filled for much our my beautiful state of Alabama. In the past few months I have heard of earthquakes in New Zealand killing many people and the tsunami in Japan killing thousands. Never did the fact cross my mind that Alabama had the potential for any real natural disasters. People here are used to hearing the tornado sirens sound. At most we expect a small tornado that destroys a trailer or two. This was obviously not the case last week.

I watched a live feed of the giant tornado as it obliterated the city of Tuscaloosa knowing that I had good friends in its path. It was an afternoon spend in prayer. Several tornados went just around us here in Montevallo, and Birmingham was hit very hard. I got texts messages from friends who thought they might be experiencing their last few moments on earth. "If I don't make it through this I just want yall to know that I love you..." This is not something that calms your heart when you see the rotation on the weather map just over your friends area of town!

The next day a couple of my roommate's friends from Tuscaloosa came to my house in Montevallo to charge their phones. I heard first hand from a student who had been pulling crushed dead bodies out of rubble the night before. I heard of people who's bones were protruding from their skin... or whose skin was literally falling off after the debris caught in the wind was thrown at them. This is the kind of stuff you don't hear about on the news.

The reason I am saying this is to remind everyone to keep praying for the people effected in Alabama. As the media quickly moves on to new stories it is easy to forget that it happened. People are still in shock in many areas. Its is almost a week later and thousand still don't have power or safe water to drink. Keep praying for the people here, and that God would work mightily in the hearts of people effected!




The 1.5mile wide tornado passed by downtown Birmingham.

Japan

This is a video that was produced by the team that I will be working with next year in Nagoya. They have been bringing supplies up to the northern part of Japan since the earthquake/ tsunami several weeks ago. Please don't forget to pray for Japan. I know it is hard to remember to pray for people who are ten thousand miles from here, but please keep Japan on your thoughts and prayers.

Summer is near... *gulp's with fear*

"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself." Luke 9:23-24

This is slowly becoming my theme verse... Not because I follow this verse, but because I need to engrain it into my hard heart. As most of you know, I am moving to Japan next year to be a missionary. The more support that comes in, and the closer it get to time for me to graduate and leave, the more I want to throw in the towel. I am terrified of leaving my school and friends. I am terrified of directing choirs. I am terrified of teaching elementary music. In a few short months all of these things that I fear will be my everyday reality. Every bit of my flesh is telling me on a daily basis "Just tell them you can't do it... that you feel God calling you to stay in America and... pick up a third major. Or maybe you can tell them that you have a life threatening disease!!! Just give back all this support and go to graduate school! Live your own life. Get a job. Buy a dog ect."

Its funny how the subconscious will mess with you! Even in all my anxiety and uncertainty I find true comfort in scripture. "Deny himself daily." I naturally seek to save my life. Going to Japan just might break me in two... but I will be better for having been broken.

Its just that... being broken in two... eaten alive... and the like... doesn't settle well in my stomach : ) Good thing there is grace for all my insecurities and lack of faith.

Now that I have talked about myself enough... please remember to pray for the Japanese as they are going through a world of heartache. Many people are experiencing pain and grief beyond what any of us could ever imagine. Pray that God could provide comfort and hope during this dark time.

MTW - Disaster Response in Japan from Go Global on Vimeo.

A New Musical

Last night I went to see the Broadway show “Spring Awakening” in Huntsville. I really had no expectation going into it. I had listened to some of the music previously, and I knew it was a little edgy… not a show that you want to watch with your grandma.

I still don’t know my thoughts about the show. It was done extremely well. It is understandable why it won something like seven Tony awards. The performers had exceptional voices, and the music was absolutely beautiful. But I am not sure that I agree with the message being conveyed. It is the story of a bunch of hormonal adolescents in the late 1800’s who are fighting the system/ standards set up by society and the church. They desire to explore their freedom and sexuality in the face of oppression from family members and school-teachers. Issues like pre-marital sex, homosexuality, suicide, and abortion are all addressed with sometimes beautiful, but not entirely valid arguments.

I almost think I would need to see it again to be able to decide whether it was truly a good show. Any of you who have seen it, please give me your opinions!

The Storm - Wendell Berry (love this poem!)

"We lay in our bed as in a tomb
awakened by thunder to the dark
in which our house was one with night,
and then light came as if the black
roof of the world had cracked open,
as if the night of all time had broken,
and out our window we glimpsed the world
birthwet and shining, as even
the sun at noon had never made it shine."

UM Chamber Singers

I am so happy to finally have a recording of a choir I am in on youtube!... even if it is just a sound clip with a cheesy slideshow it is ACTUALLY US SINGING!! Enjoy and Happy Thanksgiving!

Art and Music

Thomas Merton, a Trappist monk/writer has some of the best insight I have ever received from any author... or at least the most since CS Lewis. I do not always agree with his opinions, but his words always provide some good healthy food for thought. I read this today and thought it was very interesting. It comes from his book "No Man is an Island."

"Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time. The mind that responds to the intellectual and spiritual values that lie hidden in a poem, a painting, or a piece if music, discovers a spiritual vitality that lifts it above itself, takes it out of itself, and makes it present to itself on a level of being that it did not know it could ever achieve."

As a musician, this thought really helped me to understand what it is that attracts people to high forms of music. Music gets you outside of yourself. In a sense music puts you into a selfless state or maybe makes you less aware of your own consciousness and more aware of another's consciousness. To a being that is mostly selfish, selflessness is a refreshing phenomenon... The beauty of being taken outside of yourself, if even just for a moment creates feelings of the sublime. I haven't had time to really organize my thoughts on this subject but think its us worthy of discussing. Tell me what you think!

A meditation

When I was a child I would pray for the trees, the pond with the fish, the sky, my dad and my mom. I didn’t pray anything specific but I just wanted to talk to God. I wanted God to be good to me and to never let anything bad happen. As I got older I started to realize that God didn’t hold up his side of the bargain. At least this is what I thought. God let bad things happen to me. God actually let bad things happen to everyone that I knew. Time and a larger vocabulary helped me to realize that this bad stuff was a result of sin. The Adam and Eve that I heard about at vacation bible school brought this curse when they ate of the forbidden fruit.

My parents told me as I grew up that I should always treasure my youth because it would be the best time I would ever have in life. I have heard other people say similar things… I never understood why. Why should youth be so great and adulthood be so bad? I think it has to do with the fallen state of mankind. When we are children we don’t understand much at all and can live a life of faith. Faith is what we were meant for. Humans all have faith in something. When we are children we have faith in out parents, our teachers, Santa Clause ect. Children pray for trees and clouds and dolphins. In a child’s mind, God is good and he will let nothing bad happen to us. As the old saying goes, ignorance is bliss. Adults have a lack of joy because they have had time to realize that God didn’t keep his side of the bargain. At least that’s what they think. What they don’t realize is that it was not God but us who didn’t keep the bargain because we ate the fruit.

The simple faith of a heathen child (myself) was enough to let me live in ignorant bliss. False happiness. I was mad when my false happiness was cruelly striped from my heart as I witnessed the sin in the world. I was mad until I realized that it was my own fault. I am a human. Humans ate the forbidden fruit. Every bad thing that I experienced was a result /foreshadowing of the death that the curse would bring. The wages of sin is death after all.

I see hurting people on a daily basis… People who are depressed or worried or overwhelmed…. People who have everything and yet have nothing. Humans all over this globe experience real pain, emotionally and physically. This pain is enough to make me weep as I fall asleep at night.

Friends, God is not evil. God is not out to cause you pain. Know that just because God has allowed bad things to happen to you he has not forsaken you. God is faithful, just and loving beyond what we realize. Don’t be angry when the false joy of your youth has been striped away. Instead seek true joy in Christ! Though we ate of the fruit, God has grace on us through the blood of Christ Jesus. The free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Peace like a River

There is since in which your final year of college is anything but peaceful. For the most part it is just plain worrisome. I never go through a day without anxiously thinking about what I will do after college. Social stigma accompany's the statement "I don't know what I will do when I graduate." For some reason the college student is expected to have a well thought out, detailed plan... and he must express this plan with un-waivering confidence. This is a feat that I don't believe I will ever accomplish. I truly don't know what I will do after graduation. I will receive a diploma and life will go on. I find comfort in the words of this choral arrangement of "Peace like a River." I had the opportunity to perform it last semester in the University's Chamber Choir and it's message sticks with me like few other songs. Through faith in Christ I have great joy... this joy is constant. Joy in Christ must not be confused with happiness which is a temporal. Such joy in Jesus exists even in times of worry, suffering, and pain. So... What will I do after college? I will continue in the peace and joy of my Lord and will, in faith, do what ever he asks of me.

Romans 5:1
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ."



This really is one of my favorite songs. Its beautiful on so many levels. I think half of our choir was in tears last year during the performance. Turn it up medium to loud for the full effect.

B-ham

My friend Clark and I went downtown last week just to have a reason to play with our cameras. Birmingham really is beautiful! I wish I could get blogger to make the pics bigger, but I am technologically challenged. I'm going to DC at the end of the week so more pics to come soon!